Another bad start of the year

It puzzles me how one can lose his cool to the extend of being possessed, or rather, in my opinion, having anger manipulate your mind and inflicting hurt to your loved ones.

Last night, the son was throwing his usual tantrums during bathtime and insisted on having his watergun - his new X'mas gift from grandma. I have no idea what went utterly wrong in the bathroom.

The father literally went ballistic and threw the watergun, smashing it on the floor. My heart broke in pieces and I'm almost certain it broke the son's heart too. Jayden couldn't stop crying and weeped "Daddy broke the gun. Spoil." My heart weeped as well.

Like an enraged mother, I questioned the cause of his actions only to be rebuked with a malicious answer "Shut Up."

Baffled, Shocked, Dumb-folded.

Jayden crept up to me in bed after his bath and asked innocently "Daddy spoil the gun". He did not whine or make a big fuss. My heart weepd again. "Mummy will buy you a new one tomorrow". Jayden smiled and rolled over to sleep.

I lay awake the entire night trying to trace back the incident, searching for reasons or answers for the cause of his violent reaction. I could not find anything to justify the rights to inflict such a painful memory to my precious son and myself.

I am only thankful Jayden is still young to remember such a traumatizing incident.

Went to bed, with a heavy heart and a pillow wet with tears.

Enough is enough.

I no longer have the energy nor the interest to know what went wrong.

I do not know what is going to happen in the future. But I'm fairly certain that it will never be the same again.