It's official...

...I'm a flop at motherhood...

Just 2 hours left alone with my little terrorist and everything went wrong. Fed him, played with him, bathed him, changed his clothes, carried him, rocked him, sang half broken nursery rhymes.

NONE OF IT WORKED until he finally collapse to sleep due to exhausation from crying. :(

And I collapsed in depression...

Seeing him bursting like a red tomato was heart breaking and tormenting when you don't have the slightest clue of what he wants. I thought I've managed it well for the past few weeks. But today, everything proved me wrong. :(

The hard truth about Motherhood...

Whoever has the notion that babies only sleep and eat, eat and sleep is SO SO WRONG. Forget about those deceitful commercials or magazines saying that motherhood is the most blissful moments. Yes, that might be right after 3 months maybe.

Jayden is coming to 5 weeks old and till today, I still have trouble trying to settle him when he's cranky. Usually I go berserk first until help comes along. :(
Many a times, I feel like a complete flop. I want to enjoy motherhood, establish the bonding with Jayden amidst the sleepless days & nights. Well, I'm still trying...

I haven't handle him alone yet. Tomorrow will be the day when it's just me and my baby. I hope many months done the road, these struggling times will become a blur.

Motherhood is indeed amazing...

When he's hungry...

... It's amusing to see your lil bub making a fuss before his feed sometimes...quite a terror!





But there are also times when he's crying and you have no idea at all.... :(

When you have a baby...

... I swear his feeding time is far more accurate and effective than the alarm clock. At the end of every 3 hours, I will start watching Jayden and wait for his cues before he wakes up bursting in extreme hunger.


I still remember no matter how much my mom used to nag at me to wake up in the morning, I will not move an inch. I even told Dylan that he'll be in charge of cleaning baby's poo because I can't even stand cleaning my dog's poo. But nowadays, Jayden's cries will jolt me out of bed any moment of the day. Even cleaning his poo and getting it stained all over my hands didn't matter anymore. The wonders of Motherhood.


They say that your baby is a mirror reflection of yourself. How very true each time I look at Jayden. His small movements, his sleeping patterns and even his temper (hehe...) and you wonder if he'll grow up to be just like you.

And when they say babies grow at alarming rate, they're really not kidding!!!

Jayden really likes his new bed...

Father and son in the same sleeping pattern...